I found this quote and wanted to share it:
Always hold on to the truth.
Don’t let others sway your heart.
Don’t compromise yourself for the sake of temporal grooviness.
Be deeply funky.
Be separate from the crowd that’s awash with normality, by standing on a firm foundation.
Never waiver in your love or faith in all that you do.
-John Fluevog (Shoe Designer)
I dont know if i’m being too shallow, maybe it shouldnt be a big deal. but i kind of felt hurt when it happened. i’m not talking about losing it you dirty minded bitches…you know who you people are. tee hee! anyway, as i was saying… well, about a week ago i found out that a friend of mine had a celebration for her birthday party and..obviously, since i just found out about it – yes, i wasnt invited to that party!
quite an insult on my part because we never fought or disagreed or anything prior to her birthday. well, we never fought or disagreed, ever! and she knew i was one of the very first to greet her. not that i was expecting anything. but, you see, i just wish i never found out about that damn party because now i feel like, asking her “am i really that special to you?” “can you define friend to me?” i knew several of the people who were in the party. and looking at the photos, i’m like, why wasnt i in there? and some folks in there were not really her close friends you know?
when you’re offended, and hurt and disappointed, things you never wanted to entertain just come crashing in. like alcohol being poured into your wound. it stings like hell.
it’s quite shallow i know. making a big deal out of not being invited to a party. i mean, think of a person who was there cheering you on when you felt so discouraged? that one person who truly believed in you. that creature who never fails to make you feel good about yourself, who showered you with encouragement, simply because she sees something special in you. gosh, yes i am like, bitch, i’m such a bitch, a pathetic one at that recalling all these things, the kind of friend i am to her..sourgraping all because i wasnt invited to the party. urgh.
but i was really quite hurt. it kind of lowered my self-worth a notch. and yes, i made me doubt if she really ever copnsidered me as a friend. all because of that. fucking pathetic.
its not like i cried about it or anything. i never did. i nwas just hurt. period. a little mad. very disappointed. it felt crappy, it still does whenever i remember it.
and because remembering it makes me feel crappy, i am not going to show myself to that event, which she already informed me about, next week. i dont bthink it will make that much of a difference anyway. she missed having me at her birthday celebration, rememeber? crap, there it goes again. if ever she asks why i wont make it, i have a ready answer “i’m watching Rockstar Supernova’s elimination night. i cant afford to miss it.”
but will she ever? i doubt it. man, how pathetic is this post?
This is one reason why I don’t watch TV unless it’s for a show I really really want to see. There is a huge chance that I’ll witness something that will totally make me feel embarrassed even if I am not in the scene or even if don’t have any idea who the hell that person who unknowingly destructs him/herself is. But sometimes one just can’t avoid it.
During the commercial of my favorite TV show, I flipped channels and I stopped at this show Good Finds hosted by Angel Jacob. She is covering this event – a product launch for Lancôme’s new line of lip colours. It features ridiculously skinny models made up using the new product on their lips. Anyway, it also featured Angel’s short interviews with people who attended the launch – stylists, entrepreneurs, socialites and of course, models. Her usual question was “So, what colour are you wearing?” That is a very clear question, right? What colour? So everybody pretty much answered that very easy question except this one chick, with her skinny frame and way affected accent – don’t make me describe what accent because it just sounds so phony. So Angel approached her and asked “what colour are you wearing?” The chick had on this sparkly orange-y shade, and you know what her answer was? “I’m wearing Lancôme…because I like to wear a lot of colour sometimes…” WTFF? I was watching with a friend and upon hearing that we both didn’t know whether to laugh or feel utterly embarrassed for the confused/hearing impaired/dyslexic woman. Yikes.
I was in the room of one of my gay friends, Patrick (Starfish! haha) and he was trying to have phone sex with some random guy. And he had the speaker on so I can hear! LOL. Okay I know that’s really yucky but I’m curious so I sat beside him and listened as he chatted the guy up. Pat is of course, pretending to be a girl and I swear, he sounds more feminine than I could ever aspire to be!
And the guy on the other line is so into it I’m finding it hard not to laugh. Pat meanwhile, looked like he’s just reading from a teleprompter, as in deadma! No feelings at all, except for the voice which sounds so bedroom-y! hahaha. So he’s already telling the guy that she’s taking her top off, and that he/she’s wearing this coffee coloured Italian lace bra… and that the guy is taking it off. Then Pat… dramatically pauses…and the guy on the other line was like “What’s next? What’s next?” and Pat was like “then the door suddenly opened, and it was your parents, and they caught us and demanded that we get married soon!” LMFAO!!! Man, the guy on the phone let out this barrage of expletives then the line went busy!
I was literally rolling on the floor laughing my ass off. The funnier thing here is that, Pat even had the gall to ask why the hell the guy cursed like that. I’m like, dude, you’re supposed to have it off with him on the phone, not tell him a story or something. Oh, dear. My sides were aching after I’ve recovered from my laughing spree. It’s the best.
Ohmygod, freakin’ wonderful week over at Rockstar: Supernova. I will talk about it next after I’m done with dinner. Laters!
This past weekend I saw myomething to look forward to.self seriously, deliberately, and happily committing a capital sin: gluttony.
On Saturday afternoon I had a major food trip with classmates – foot long sandwiches, siomais, Japanese cakes, calamares and cotton candy washed down with c2 iced tea.
That night I went with Via and other friends to a huge birthday party where, for dinner, we each had at least two helpings of rice, and our plates overflowing with relleno, spring rolls, mechado, grilled tuna belly, baked stuffed turkey, ensalada… washed down with coke and Carlo Rossi. For dessert I had two huge slices of the triple layer birthday cake (choco, mocha and butter) and more than 10 pieces of yummy oatmeal choco chip cookies! We had spaghetti too. My god, the hosts just keep piling stuff on our plate and they’re just too delicious to resist. After that, just to burn everything I stood while watching 101 Most Awesome Moments in Entertainment over at the lifestyle network.
Going home we were kidding about fitting ourselves into the car. I think we all gained five pounds after that. I don’t really mind.
Earlier, for breakfast, I had a huge plate – fried rice with sardines, luncheon meat, 2 hard boiled eggs, and 3 pieces of pastel (tasty buns filled with yema). Plus two slices of papaya and a banana.
That was one heavy breakfast so I decided I’d eat lunch at like, 2pm. Argh, I ended up a consuming a good-for2 meal from Karate Kid!
And today, my folks brought me like, 5 types of dishes – pork adobo, chicken curry, grilled tilapia with ensalada, chopseuy and sweet and spicy longganisa. Goodness! I feel like I’m going to be executed tomorrow! I had to consume the chicken curry and grilled fish because they won’t taste as good tomorrow.
Chewy brownies for dessert. Man.
I am not complaining. I love to eat. I have zero worries about getting unwanted weight, because I have a metabolism faster than a speeding bullet. Besides I really need the extra weight since I kick box, swim and bike a lot.
I just think maybe what I had over the weekend was too much.
Anyway, despite that little prick of conscience, I thought it was a wonderful blessing. To be enjoying all these yummy food. I’ll just think of that as me eating in behalf of the world’s starving children. Bless you all, kiddos.
* * * * * *
From http://www.6767.com/ (Dave Navarro’s blog) On to Rockstar stuff. Tomorrow we tape another Tuesday performance show. This time the remaining singers will be doing “stripped down” versions of their songs. Not totally acoustic, but pulled back arrangements that will really help highlight their voices. Some, like Ryan, Dilana and Magni, don’t really need a day like this as they have already taken it upon themselves to do raw performances. Lukas could really benefit from a stripped down song as he has yet to really be simple and direct with a vocal. His version of Creep was amazing and was the closest thing to stripped, but tomorrow (Tuesday) he will have even less rock power behind him from the House Band. One of the contestants will even be doing an original song. Smart move. It is definitely time for song writing chops to come into play on the main stage.
Oh my god, that makles me super excited about this week’s show! Yay!
My 3-year-old rottweiler, Jesse, died last week. And I only learned about it on Saturday afternoon! When I got the text from my family, I was beyond sad I couldn’t say anything at all. She was one sweet doggie, affectionately called “my bitch”. Granted I hated her waking me up during Sunday mornings and sniffing me and trying to pry the blanket from my face…I still will really miss her.
And her looking at my mirror and barking at herself.
Her waiting around for her share whenever I get myself some milk.
Her jumping at me and sniffing me whenever I come home from the city.
Her sitting beside me whenever I’m fixing my hair. Her wagging her tail and sticking her tongue out excitedly whenever I open a bag of chips or cookies.
The look on her eyes whenever she wants to cuddle. She loves it when I rub my feet on her tummy.
The look on her eyes whenever I “talk” to her. God she looks as if she understands every single thing I say and nods, shakes her head or bark right on cue.
My brother was the one who buried her, and I wonder how he was able to do it. My dad was really sad when he finally came around and told me about it. I tear up just thinking I’ve just lost “my bitch”.
I mean… I think I cried over her death more than I cried over my last heartbreak. I hope you’re enjoying bottomless milk, lots of chips and cookies and chicken bones, and cuddles in dog heaven, Jesse. I will miss you baby. I hope dogs can read blogs in dog heaven. So you will read this. I love you.
I’m gonna go cry now. Hopefully for the last time.
started the day right.
a friend owns this tapsi place and i had breakfast there. she has this pretty 5 year old daughter named Gabywho approached her with a pen and piece of paper and asked her to write something on it. after that, my friend (Ate Love) and i resumed chatting and then, a few minutes later, Gaby gave me that sheet of paper and guess what’s written on it? these words: “you’re beautiful”
that just made my day. i know i look like shit in the morning, and especially this particular morning, wearing gray cargo shorts i stole from my brother and worn black baby tee and purple flipflops, hair pulled up in a messy ponytail! i texted a friend about it and her reply was: “ah, that kid obviously has better eyesight than you!” aawww!
* * * * * * *
and ended the day with a bang, courtesy of my current love rockstar: supernova. as always, my girl Dilana rocked it! turned a ho-hum song (bad company’s “cant get enough”) into something exciting. and she looked stunning tonight! first time i realized how incredibly beautiful this woman is…(sticks tongue out to those who called her ugly!) i already thought she looked good, but not striking. tonight i just love her look.. and her pants! man are they HOT! me likey something like those!
here’s the link to that performance:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjM2nGJPL6Q&search=dilana
and the guy who carried her back to the stage is Steven, her hottie bf. Sweetness!!!
anyway, my favorite for the night is ryan’s piano and vocals on “losing my religion”and storm’s take on “changes”. of course my girl did great but i wouldnt want to overrate her. she’s so freakin’ good it might start to bore me! haha. but props to her for showing something different and bringing the house down, week in week out. way to go mama!
He hung on with bated breath as she searched the air with an answer. There was none. The silence between them reeked of death and in her eyes were lightning quick flashes of doubt, fear, anger and pain. She struggled to meet his gaze. Speak! He implored her quietly. Her voice haunted her ever since the first time he heard it. Like whisky and cigarettes. “But I stopped smoking five years ago!” she would often say with that lilting accent he simply loved. And his reply will always be an adoring gaze. He’s been mesmerized from day one. What had he done to render her speechless – this woman who never runs out of words for just about anything? He wanted to squirm under those deep pools of hazel, now steadily looking back at him. Her mouth quivering as if in a serious battle with words. Her hand grabbed his arm and he felt a jolt of surprise. She was shaking. The roughness of her palm was near abrasive and yet the warmth soothed him. He heard a sharp in take of breath. He held her gaze. Imploring. Pleading. She closed her eyes. He thought the world stopped and everything crashed and burned. Three agonizing seconds…then, she opened her eyes. And nodded with a faint smile. And a tear that was enough to wash away even the tiniest speck of fear and doubt, anger and pain in those hazel eyes. “In a heartbeat.” She whispered.
** * * * * * *
Another month has passed! I cant believe how days fly by so quickly, especially when I am not so sure if I was able to make the most of each of them. What have I missed? Its either I’m to busy or to idle to notice. How’d I do? It’s either I’m too excited or too exhausted to care. What’s my problem? I’m too apathetic to even sense it. And I am just randomly typing down shit here, by the way. Amidst al that whacked rambling though, I wish al of you happy and memorable times ahead. August the first – cheers! (jager shots and dirty vodka martinis, anyone?)
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