blast from the effin’ past…cos i saw him today ;-p

the universal plot [2-26-05 at 5pm]

[ mood |  contemplative ] [ music | southern girl - incubus ]

He is tall, he is gorgeous, he’s got the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen (yes, pretty eyes! They are dark, almond shaped, very expressive). I think the people at Cosmo magazine would call him a hunk… oh no, he doesn’t have those scary muscles or worse, boobs! But he does have that appeal. Like a male model or something? He’s so… virile. So.. manly. Okay, I sound like I am about to devour him. I wish! But, anyway.

I do not particularly like goatees, you know? And he’s got those. Think Ethan Hawke in “Reality Bites”. He’s got this adorable half-smile, and sexy grin. He looks at me as if he’s interested in everything I have to say. He holds my hand and massages my fingers instead of telling me I must be this pampered=princess type because I have such long, bony digits, and smooth palms. No, he thinks they’re cute.

He puts up with my shit. He knows when to speak and when to shut up. That’s a fragile art. It takes a hell lot of sensitivity to be able to master that. And it seems like he already has. It is quite amazing how he’d always catch me in a foul mood and after a few moments with him, I’d be smiling again. Laughing even. He just manages to calm me down, like cold water with a few squirts of lemon on it.

I have never been with anyone like that in ages. I told him that, and he said maybe I just never gave other people the chance.

I said I am a difficult person to love. And he said, people are just not patient enough.

I said he’s too kind. He said he’s just returning the favor. I don’t remember doing him any favor. I’m a selfish bitch! He just smiled.

Sounds like a love story in the making. Yes, maybe. But I am not keeping my hopes up. Remember I have stopped expecting a long time ago? I refuse to read too much into things.

He’s not… he doesn’t belong to anyone. But he wishes to be… to be with someone who I know will never love him back. I wish I could tell him that. But right now, I cannot say anything.

I cannot blame him for being into her. She’s a good friend. She’s a great person. Beautiful inside and out. i don’t know how i knew they’re simply not for each other. i know she’s not into him, not more than a friend / someoen she works with…. one day he’ll realize that and… and then nothing. basta he will realize that. whatever.

i just had to get that out. yes, i just talked about someone who’s been occupying my thoughts for the past couple of days. after this, i expect less of those daydreams.

* He still looks great, he still thinks I’m ‘weird, but interesting…and amazing’ and he is still pining for her. Hoo boy.