so it’s been 365 days or 52 weeks or 12 months or…

 This month, this WordPress blog turns a year old. I have been blogging since 2002 – i have sported many names from the many online journal sites that I’ve called home to my thoughts, wishes, dreams, rants and raves, and whatnot. From airdrummer to nonski to die_kaiserin, from Diaryland to Pitas to Livejournal… from law school to the Supreme Court to an Ortigas-based law firm, from Hong Kong to LA to Manila – my mind heart and soul flew and wandered, got lots and was found… through all these the sole witness was the computer screen and those who take time out and actually read what i have typed (written). Those brave, bored, lost souls who saw me apart from what my family, friends, classmates and colleagues knew – thank you.

The previous paragraph sounds like i am about to say goodbye – i am definitely not. Way far from it. This is just a celebration of the year that has gone by, as a WP blogger, and the many years that has me living part of my life in cyberspace. And like cake and ice cream and spaghetti on birthday parties, i am celebrating this first wonderful WP year with a new, er, image header. Trust me i have tried looking for a new theme, but i couldn’t leave behind this one. So i changed the header instead. From a dark Death and Supernova image combo, it’s now a pretty, happy Lena (Headey) and Lilies twin picture. I shall explain in future posts why said pictures were chosen. But let’s just say it has something to do with the word “dare”. Last year i held back with my posts…i read some of them and realized how boring they were. My old blogs were definitely much juicier! And i thought – hmmm, i have been living a more colorful, challenging, interesting life and yet my blog entries are ho-hum. Even a lil bit on the cute side.
This year at WP, hopefully, will be lot different. After all, there were so many lessons learned, so many friends made, so many places that I’ve been to and well, there were so many stories still waiting to be told. I have always preferred that my choices in life be the ones that liberates me, so why the hell have i held back in sharing them? Who knows who i really am (well, okay, about 30% of my regular readers know. Hehehe) All i really want to say is, starting from this moment i am going to really let go and stop thinking, to paraphrase a friend’s song i will “let the feelings flow, won’t hold back… just relax”.
And with that i end this post with an imaginary shower of confetti and a merry “happy birthday” to me here at WP!

Just a Rant

I don’t know but I have higher expectations from anyone older than me. I always assume that since they have walked the earth for a longer time than I have already, they’re more matured, their EQ is higher. Not that being young is an excuse for being irrational, but really I just think older ones should know, and act, and think better. 

Case in point – a friend who expects me to be there each time she needs someone to rant and rave about her day on just because she thinks I have a lot of free time in my hands. Being in research where I am not required to show my face in the firm every single day, I really do have quite a lot of free time. But I made it clear that I do not intend to spend precious time inside Starbucks filling my system with caffeine and listening to other people’s shit. Aside from my friend’s. Or walking around the mall, occasionally entering high end stores trying on stuff I will not buy even if I can because I think they’re just not practical. Or watching movies just because it’s in theaters, or it’s big, or some people say it’s good. 

More than a decade of friendship wasn’t really enough to convince my friends that I may compromise, but I shall never let anybody tell me what to do. Or make me conform to what’s in or expected. 

And really, we can stay friends even if we don’t see each other a lot, right? We do not have to drain each other by meeting everyday talking about the same stuff. Aaargh, perhaps it’s my impatience. Or my personality being completely different from them. I just firmly believe that if something doesn’t work, then let go and move on. That you can never help what people think. That we’re all different and not everyone will think or act as we do so let’s all just practice respect. 

And that at some point, we will have to figure things out by our selves. We can’t always have someone. We need friends but we have to learn to stand on our own, make decisions and be firm on it. 

I have gone so far. This post was actually triggered by well, Spiderman 3. A friend treated us last night to watch it. It’s okay. I’m not a fan but I kept an open mind. It fell short of my expectations. Ergo, I didn’t like it. And that’s just me. Not trying to sway anyone’s opinion. Or discourage anyone from watching it. 

And this friend texted earlier asking if I wanna watch. I said, I already watched it and didn’t like it, so I have no plans of seeing it again. 

She said “Others say it’s okay naman. What’s wrong with it?” 

So I said the exact same thing I said above. She knows I am quite critical with what I see, hear or read. I know what I want; I have my own standards of what I consider to be good. 

She texted a sad emoticon L and “yabang mo naman.” 

I am like “;-) you asked for my opinion and when I gave it I’m mayabang na?” 

She texted back a real smiley and still convinced me to watch. Anyway, I’ll be in the mall later. I said I might have to meet someone. And so she went on who asked to meet me first. Hello?! 

I maybe just a really bad/difficult and taray friend. But really, we’re adults. Things like that shouldn’t be such a big deal. Ayayay.