Becoming a Certified Conyo Kid: a 10 Step Guide

it is common knowledge that i really hate it when people speak in taglish. i hate it even more when peopel speak in a really annoying accent like they’re either trying hard to sound like valley girls or ghetto peeps.

this is omething i got from an email and i couldn’t stop laughing my head off when i read this. here, for all you grammar whores and anal retentive beings…maybe “conyo” wannabes too. haha!

10 Conyo-mandments

by Gerry Avelino and Arik Abu

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1. Thou shall make gamit “make + pandiwa”.

ex.

“Let’s make pasok na to our class!”

“Wait lang! I’m making kain pa!”

“Come on na, we can’t make hintay anymore! It’s in Andrew pa, you know?”

 

2. Thou shall make kalat “noh”, “diba” and “eh” in your pangungusap.

Ex.

“I don’t like to make lakad in the baha nga, no? Eh diba it’s like, so eew, diba?”

“What ba: stop nga being maarte noh?”

“Eh as if you want naman also, diba?”

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3. When making describe a whatever, always say “It’s SO   + pang-uri!”

ex.

“It’s so malaki, you know, and so mainit!”

“I know right? So sarap nga, eh!”

“You’re making me inggit naman.. I’ll make bili nga my own burger.”

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4. When you are lalaki, make parang punctuation “dude”, ‘tsong” or “pare”

ex.

“Dude, ENGANAL is so hirap, pare.”

“I know, tsong, I got bagsak nga in quiz one, eh”

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5. Thou shall know “you know? “ “I know right!”

ex:

“My bag is so bigat today, you know”

“I know, right! We have to make dala pa kasi the jumbo Physics book eh!”

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6. Make gawa the plural of pangngalans like in English or Spanish.

ex.

“I have so many tigyawats, oh!”

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7. Like, when you can make kaya, always use like. Like, I know right?

ex.

“Like, it’s so init naman!”

“Yah! The aircon, it’s, like sira!”

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8. Make yourself feel so galing by translating the last word of your sentence, you know, your pangungusap?

ex.

“Kakainis naman in the LRT! How plenty tao, you know, people?”

“It’s so tight nga there, eh, you know, masikip?”

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9. Make gamit of plenty abbreviations, you know,  daglat?”

ex.

“Like, OMG! It’s like traffic sa LRT”

“I know right? It’s so kaka!”

“Kaka?”

“Kakaasar!”

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10. Make gamit the pinakamaarte voice and pronunciation you have para full effect!

ex.

“I’m, like, making aral at the Arrhineo!”

“Me naman, I’m from Lazzahl!”

 

—>> how come, like, my friends from The Ahrrneo don’t make salita like this? i know, right? it’s like, so weird, di ba?

sapakin ako ng nanay ko pag ganito ako magsalita. haha!